We'll be taking the 10.30pm flight tonite. The Empress gonna give us a treat (sshhhh... she struck 4D first prize). Very funny, she has been emphasizing to us we cannot have reunion dinner (my father-in-law passed away last June hence no CNY celebration). I have been like, hey, how many sumptuous dinners we had together, wasn't those reunion? Then, she said cannot decorate house, not even those 'Fu' sticker. Okay. But she bought 'fa cai' plant and 3 others, decor with ribbon. and fortune plate.
Took whole day to finish 'spring-cleaning'. The more i do the more i found ..... sigh .... it's my fault. I've never clean the common bathroom since she moved in. I never like step in there cos of the soap she used. And, she claimed that she frequently scrub and clean. Ya, she is very particular, very clean person. In our previous house, since she always scold the maid for not washing the bathroom clean and properly, she wanted to do on her own. Knowing her too well, i wait to see how clean she is. Great! the underneath of toilet seat is of black fungus, the corner of 2 walls with black dots.... Well, i am not particular actually. I never expect our house to be as clean as new and it is really tough to maintain a house. I just hate someone who expect too much from another person while she herself is .... yaks! Here, the underneath of the basin is 'mouldy'. can you imagine? Only 4 months here ...... The corner of the walls....
To me, it is really ok to be imperfect. I myself is lazy too. We can do it together, trying our best. If we can't do it, it's really not a problem. It's not about life and death right? But why must someone be so nasty? in words? in mouth? My mum always say, nothing is as poison as a man's mouth! I couldn't agree more.
Just 3 years into a marriage, i've changed a lot. In character. In personality. In temper. I always want people around me to feel good, to not feel obligated. Even if at times i have to take several extra steps, willingly. I have a long time colleague once told me. "Your a rare woman i knew. Never criticise, bad-mouth or chip in when the rest complaining or talking about another person. You just listen and smile" I'm so ashamed of myself now. Sorry, I've changed. I've begin to criticise, bad-mouthed the Empress. I'm so little. I throw temper, explode easily nowadays. I've become over-sensitive at things. Emotionally fragile. I even suspect myself down with depression at one point of time. That's when i wanted to run away from home.
Things slightly getting better now.... i hope. And in the new year, i really wish all this (a nightmare) pass us by very soon. I welcome the Pig year to come.... give me luck and wellnes...
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