Yesterday was our worst day in the coming of our 3 years marriage. I'm so stressed over that Empress at home. And when he make remarks or unhappy over things, i'm totally fret out. I just blewn away on Friday nite. My blood was so bloody boil and i just couldn't stop feeling how sad i am in this crazy family. Though i felt remorseful over what i've said and behaved towards BK, i just couldn't stop feeling how sorry i am for myself, living in such agony. But at the same time, i knew BK has even more question mark. He should be the one having the rights to say 'agony'. What's mine? compare to his?
He couldn't sleep and was greatly affected. Me? i wouldn't talk and i just want to cry into sleep. This is my way of healing. While he is not, he need to talk. Else he felt his vein gonna burst. But i just couldn't bring myself to. He said he needs to go GH and left the house. It was almost 1.15am. I follow after. Took a cab to GH and waited till 3am. He left his mobile at home. I guess he just need a breather and probably sleeping in the car or what. I went back and waited at the pavillion till 4.45am. A white cat starring at me and makes me feeling chilly. About 7am, i saw him entering our bedroom. This was the nite being mysterious. We make peace yesterday afternoon and he still wouldn't share where has he been during the 'mysterious' hours. Guess it will remain this......
I think this will be how our 'walk out' starts. Every relation has this experience. One or the other left home, walk out, stay out.... Is ours consider early? or is 'the time'?
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