Sianz.....

very very down.... very very low....
start to wonder about human??!! It's so tiring to handle human. Ya, something is the office is not right. It affect my mood greatly. There are just so many ??? Dun understand y some people just like to threaten another? We are all working for people what! Dun understand y some people like to do things behind another's back? We just want a comfortable working relationship what!
Why people got so many attitude?

Probably myself is one of them... just that i've not realised it. Or, we always have excuse for ourselves.

All along he has been one that we wanted to avoid. Or rather, one whom we don't enjoy being with. All this while, he has put up a very nice goody man, always the one who sacrifice for the rest of us. Since my very beginning with this company, i heard my ex-boss calling him names. You can sensed that they really detest him (obviously). But it didn't bother me much as i only wanna do my own job. We always felt his quietness as a kind of 'threatening' feeling. No one feel secure. Oh yes, he can read minds! There is no sincerity in him. That's how we feel.

The worse part is, what i knew more about him when we went oversea biz trip. It was disgusting, nauseating and gross! Something i've long ago heard about but never did i expect i will see with my own eyes. A wolf appear in front of me. But of course not towards me lah. After his intention not succeeded, she dare not return to her room. 3 of us went into hiding knowing he went searching for her. I even received a few sms fm him asking her whereabout. 1 was received at abt 12 plus am. Gosh! I don't even dare to mention this to hubby.

He always did things behind the scene... a few times asking us to do things 'sense-less' which we end up with ??? by customer. How stupid of us not to say 'NO' or reason out. Even my ex-colleague also took his wrong plane to Holland a couple of incidents. SM is the worse, kana deceived (as quoted by himself). I'm sorry for C, and i felt a pity for J.

My heart sunk from the day Jamie left. It has gone deeper & deeper. Not only did he never pull the team together but always poisoned each other. When one left, he'll say how disappointed he is with he/her. Among ourselves, we can repeat what he says. At times, we can even expect what he is going to say.

When i said all these in my heart, i'm also a bitch myself, i'm also a poison jab myself. I'm now talking behind his back, and yet everyday i'm still facing him like nothing happen. I'm such damn hypocrite. I hate this. When can i end this? But the thought of leaving the company just left me with so much sadness. I've worked so hard for them, especially the first few years i work like my own company with no day & night. And now i'm in my comfort zone, able to afford let my hubby to strive out his own. Yet i find disappointment and unappreciative in this company.

Things has changed. People have changed. Attitude has changed.