Missing Home, Missing You

Whenever I watch Michael Buble's 'HOME'on youtube (the one with big print lyrics), I kind of have to fight back my tears. Not so much on listening cos the 'wordings' doesn't shout on me. No matter how many times i've watched, I just felt like I'm in the background story. And the 'SHE' is my grandma. Ya, very much. I really missed her presence, her everything.

There was one day when i was having problem with the M'sia customs, I had to stay put at a relative's place for a month. I'm 'forbid' to enter into M'sia. That year, I was 8 yrs old. Grandma visited me about a week later after she sent me there. I wrote her a letter, stuffed into her handbag and told her to read it when she reached home. I knew she couldn't read but i just wanna tell her how much i missed her, I missed our home. That one month was a torture. Some nites I'd cried till sleep. The stupid customs officer was just trying to create some problem. There were so many S'porean travelling in and out everyday but why me? why a 8 yr old little girl? No one could help me even mum trying to get some senior officer to lift the 'ban'. I was very angry then. Now whenever i think of this incident, it's not the anger anymore, it's the pure sadness of missing grandma. That kind of missing her. But this time, not just a month, but it's longer, it's forever. 6 yrs oredi... even till now, right now, writing this, my throat pinch, my nose gripe, my eyes blurry and has started raining.....

For so long, I missed the home that was once filled with your love, with you waiting up for me, with just very simple but my favourite dishes and lotus soup no matter how late i reached home, with you always so proud of me......

"Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home"